Sometimes, I try to envision what a SUPER MAGICAL DREAMY future would look like and... can't quite conjure myself to show up in the story.
I can imagine other people living The Life, but I just can't quite stick MY face in the scenes of magic, ease and flow.
Let's start with stating that I'm a Taurus, and we Taureans are all about grounded practicality. This makes us good planners, loyal friends, and diehard with our followthrough.
But all that practicality can keep one a little TOO grounded. Too stuck in what we can see right in front of us that we can't seem to imagine a future where all of our dreams come true.
Because we can't see it yet.
But there's something a little deeper, a little darker, a little more limiting. Marianne Williamson so famously said it best:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us."
So some of us just... don't spend time imagining what our Dreamiest Dream of a Life might, could, will look like.
In some cases (like me!), it's under the guise of staying in the present. We make statements like, I'm trusting in the flow of the Universe! I'll know what's right when I see it! It'll be delivered to me when I'm in full alignment!
Let me be the FIRST to state that I'm totally on board with all of those statements. Just.... not when they're used to avoid taking responsibility for our own visioning, evolution, and intentional creation of whatever our particular genius may be. Crocheting. Dog training. Lip syncing. You have a responsibility to USE that gift and not let it just fester and rot while you wonder why life doesn't seem like much fun.
(Agh, that word... RESPONSIBILITY.)
Back to M. Williamson, and why we are so afraid of our light.
Gay Hendricks calls it the Upper Limit Problem. (There's a video about it here.) Somewhere in life, each of us is programmed with a certain idea about how much happiness, success, and love we are "allowed" to have -- and if we are nearing that threshold, we'll start to exhibit strange, almost unexplainable tendencies to self-sabotage our happiness to stay within our subconsciously-set comfort zone of success.
Sounds ridiculous, right? It's SO REAL.
That time EVERYTHING was going perfectly on that big presentation and you... came down with the flu out of nowhere.
That time you found yourself picking a fight with your Beloved over nothing just before your anniversary.
That time you 'forgot' about an important deadline that cost you your promotion at work.
That time you just kind of... didn't launch your new project. Oops?
It's sneaky, but it's real.
For me, and for many of us, there's a small, thin voice that says something like... Who am I to think my life could be like that?
This is where we get to the yoga. The Bhagavad Gita is yoga's penultimate text on how the %#$& to live our lives according to our Big P Purpose - our Dharma. And according to this epic, the story of a warrior who finds himself unable to carry out his duties on the frontline of a cosmic battle, the proper answer to that question is:
Who are you not to?
The youth gets together his materials to build a bridge to the moon, or perchance, a palace or a temple on the earth, and, at length, the middle-aged man concludes to build a woodshed with them. -Henry David Thoreau
Thoreau was a student of the Gita, eventually following HIS dharma when he built his cabin on Walden Pond and - behold! - his finest works poured forth. Not exactly dreaming "big" in the material sense, but what he created from a dedication to his craft has impacted American literature for generations. He tried for a while to do things the way he was "supposed to" and failed miserably. But who would he have been if he had forsaken his writing, if he had stopped dreaming of the day his books would finally be seen for their greatness?
We all have a Gift. A passion. A spark. That THING that we know, deep within, is our zone of genius. Or maybe others keep reflecting it back to us - how talented we are, how we light up when we do that thing.
It is our RESPONSIBILITY... to do it.
To catch the moments where we sabotage our success/love/dreams.
To push ourselves to dream more often. To dream BIGGER. To keep trying, until we SEE our faces in that amazing future.
Because it's on its way. We just have to make space for it all to arrive.
return to the sacred heart: costa rica
A journey into the center of your Being:: Purpose, Passion, and Trust with Ankati Day // November 19-25, 2018.
7 years ago, my path changed forever. A calling brought me to the jungle of Costa Rica to study yoga in a community called Pachamama -- and I could never have predicted how that leap would change my life. I not only deepened my practice, but was invited deep into the Sacred Center of what Yoga points us to: self-discovery. Awakening. Insight. Connection in ways I never imagined possible. And a profound relationship with sacred earth traditions.
It brings me such joy, such humble pleasure, to be hosting a 5 day journey in these sacred ways in the forest community that taught me so much.
Yoga. Movement. Meditation. Earth Ceremony. Personal Inquiry. Connection. Details here.